>generations collide

>

>I’m not ready for my close up

>Please, someone remind me the next time I want to rewatch Sunset Boulevard, that a silly person like myself should not ever watch the movie unless they are prepared to go through fits of despair about the aging process and how they’ll be old and undesirable in no time at all (I’ve been moisturizing like crazy!), start speaking with
a terrible, affected accent, (I called my friend Jess, told her she was the Lilian Gish of the day, that I wanted to put her in pictures, and that I could imagine her name in lights), screaming about feminism and how older women and their artistic practices are thrown away as soon as they hit 40, and resorting to insane fantasies and sympathies for Gloria Swanson herself, the brave actress who made a conceptual movie about herself that makes her look so bad, all you can do is love her more. This movie has everything I could ever want ever in the entire world. It is my dream movie, and I will never watch it again. It just fucks with me too much. You’ll see me next in a feathered boa, driving a 1920’s German car with an exposed tired on the side and lighting long-stem white candles all over my gold-plated god damn house.